


hands heavy

by Judeyjude



Series: prince Sirius and commoner werewolf Remus [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: <3, Adoptive Child, Jealous Sirius Black, M/M, Proposals, Regulus and Sirius reconciling their relationship, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, and goddamn fluffier than ever, any requests that people ask for I will consider and try, during war time period, eventual announced wolfstar to all kingdoms, i promise the following, it's back!, like you will never believe it, perhaps flonks but at least implied, secret agent marauders, secret relationship wolfstar right under walburgas nose, which they deserve lets be honest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-15 23:38:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11816589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Judeyjude/pseuds/Judeyjude
Summary: Sirius hid his face in Remus’ neck, starting to cry because this time it wasn’t a death sentence, a looming ending. It was a promise, one they could keep, their hands heavy with all the time they held before them.--This is the long fluffy chapter promised at the end of "i'll kiss you for as much time we have" but in small chapter snippets. So, without further ado, here is the time held before them.*You don't have to necessarily read the original story to read these little bits of fluff.original prompt: According to tradition a new King/Queen/Leader must kill a werewolf to prove his worth and here I am to kill you but I just can’t seem to do it





	1. between you and me

**Author's Note:**

> I have had these snippets sitting in my document forever, even before the story was finished. The idea of pulling together one last cohesive chapter was too daunting, however. So a compromise: I'm posting what I have and I will be filling in the blanks as they pop in my head. 
> 
> I really hope you enjoy and thank you so much to everyone who supported me through the first story. 
> 
> For the first chapter, we will be filling in a few deleted scenes that didn't make it into the last chapter and after this, we move into the future.
> 
> thanks to @croatoanmary for inspiring me to post these extras : ) ! 
> 
> * when Remus fought the evil wolf, he was thrown hard into a rock and hit the right side of the back of his head. If you hit the back of your head hard enough, gaining a concussion, you can experience blindness. Sometimes temporary, sometimes not. Because Remus hit the right side, it effected the left eye.

_During Chapter Twelve:_

* * *

 

Remus regained consciousness shortly after being transported to the Black servant's infirmary. He flailed his arms, almost smacking an innocent nurse.

 

“Frank,” he slurred, “between you and me, we have two ears and three eyes.”

 

He started laughing madly before passing out. Lily and Alice turned to each other with wide eyes and Frank was left waiting for someone to sign to him what Remus said.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

A strange cat snuck into the sickroom Remus was taken to and couldn’t be chased away by any nurse or doctor. The cat always found a way back into the room and once they relented, the cat curled up next to Remus while they tended to his wounds, never leaving for a moment. James tried to pet the animal, only to receive a warning scratch, nothing more than a flesh wound. 

 

Alice and Frank shared a mutual fond look. It took Lily a day to notice the glasses-like marking around the cat's eyes and she turned excitedly to James, finding him slowly inch forward, cooing, attempting to pet the "cat" again.

 

She decided to let him discover for himself.

 

 

* * *

 

 

A few days after the big ballroom werewolf celebration party, Remus sheepishly admitted to Sirius that he had lost sight in his left eye. Sirius’ mouth dried up and his mind failed to function.

 

“Really, love, it’s okay. It might only last a few weeks or months. And if it stays it will be fine,” Remus said. “It’s not a bad thing, it’s just something we have to adjust to, like Frank with his ears. And you with bees—you were scared of them but now you’re fine being near them.”

 

Sirius thought this was vastly different than _bees_. He didn’t say that out loud—he took Remus’ hand and squeezed it. “Alright.” He worked on softening his voice, earnestly saying, “We’ll adjust and I’ll help in any way I can.” Remus released a small relieved breath and Sirius wondered why Remus had been so worried to admit this. Looking back, things started to make a lot more sense—Remus’ wooziness and instability. “Does this mean I can carry you everywhere?”

 

Remus slapped Sirius’ arm. “No.” He side-eyed Sirius. “Not like you don’t do it already enough, though.”

 

—

 

The partial blindness never faded away. Remus hid it well from others—anything perceived as a weakness was not ideal when working close to Walburga—but it wasn’t always easy. For Remus’ next birthday, Sirius contacted Alice and they worked together to write a book with a blind protagonist. 


	2. walburga's greed and the first decision of many to come

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> setting up context for future chapters

Walburga came and interrogated Remus after hearing feedback from almost everyone who attended the party on how delightful he was. Having years filled with lying to save his skin, Remus spun a story about how he left a Kingdom across seas, pretending he disagreed with their progressive ideas. Walburga instantly zeroed in on his traveling, greedily pushing for more information.

 

Never in the history of Walburga's life — and in the years to come, deception would grow under her nose like a particularly stubborn moss—had someone tricked her as much as Remus had and would continue to. She liked him so much that she hired him on her council as an interpreter and middleman for foreigners who spoke different languages, a position most advantageous for a potential spy. Languages had always been something he picked up quickly and he lost count of how many he knew at this time in his life.

 

The decision to say yes was a tough one. Sirius begged Remus to say no because he should stay in his meadow, in nature where he belonged. Remus' heart yearned for his beloved forest, especially with all the healing he was going through and the months he had spent away.

 

"I can live there and stay here when foreigners come visit," Remus said. "But I don't want to be away from you. And you can't come visit now that your hunt is over."

 

Sirius shook his head, stroking his thumb over Remus' hand. "With how fast the war is coming, world leaders will be coming and going constantly, especially now that she has you and can invite more foreign leaders. She won't tolerate the disgrace of someone working for her to be living like a peasant either —not that I think your home is unfit. I love the meadow, the forest. I ache for it as much as I ache for you. Well," Sirius laughed, "maybe not  _as_ much. But. There's nothing I lo —there's nothing that makes me feel like you make me feel. Which is why I need you to say no and be where you belong."

 

Remus' decision slid and locked into place. He pretended, for Sirius' sake, "to think it over". 

 

What a horrid place this castle was, even without considering how opposing to openness and nature it was. But Remus could and would alway return to his forest and his meadow when able. 

  

But nothing made him feel like Sirius did and after everything, he'd like to be as close with his beau as he could be. And, f or solace, he could discover nature in the beautiful Black gardens and greenhouse.

  

 

Most importantly, he and Sirius would build a home between them, in them, one that no one could ever take away, even if they were physically separated. 


	3. in a cupboard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> time period: pre-war/war period during Sirius' first year as King

“Did you see that? That was amazing!”

 

Remus giggled and pulled Sirius flush against him, kissing him briefly but thoroughly.

 

“Walburga actually pulled me aside to yell at me for being disrespectful toward you,” Sirius said, bouncing on his feet.

 

“I made a comment yesterday about how Regulus is much more fitting for the throne.”

 

Sirius’ eyes widened. He grabbed Remus’ face with both hands and brought their lips together almost violently, but kissed him ever so gently. “Genius,” he said against Remus’ mouth. “Gods, you’re so smart, I love it. Absolutely genius.”

 

“Less talking, more smooching.”

 

Sirius did just the opposite, breaking them apart and leaning their foreheads together. “The way you looked at me in that meeting,” Sirius groaned, “you look so good when you’re pretend-glaring, your eyes are so focused and dark and intense.”

 

“If you don’t shut up,” Remus said, brushing his lips teasingly against Sirius’, “someone’s going to hear and our cover will be blown.”

 

“Can’t—help—it—Gods I love—you—so beautiful,” Sirius said between kisses.


	4. learning how to channel frustration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> period: pre-war/war time & Sirius' first year as King
> 
> warning: sexual innuendos

After a firm talk with his father, ordering Sirius to make decisions from his mother, Sirius turned erratic with unsuppressed rage. He was officially King goddammit! He should be making his own decisions—the kingdom needed him, they were on the brink of poverty and violence gone too far for too long. He needed to make coalitions with the other Kingdoms fighting against Marvolo and his goons before it was too late.

 

He snapped at six different people and glared down anyone who walked his way, startling the higher ranks. A hand yanked him into a cupboard. 

 

“What are you doing?” Remus hissed, his voice gravelly and causing Sirius to falter. “You’re letting your anger out on others—people who deserve it and people who do not.”

 

“I’m—I’m sorry.”

 

“Is it true you sneered at Angel for knocking into you?”

 

“I—I don’t know. I don’t remember.” Sirius shrank, Angel was a young girl with some sort of mental disability that all peasant staff were fiercely protective of. “Oh gods, did I? I—I didn’t _mean_ to. I wasn’t thinking, I never think, oh gods.” He began hyperventilating —what use was a King who lost control and mistreated his people? What if he was no better than his parents?

 

“Baby, darling, it’s okay,” Remus gently cradled Sirius’ face in his hands, wiping his thumbs over the wetness under Sirius’ eyes. “I snapped at you before I listened. It’s okay, baby, I’m right here.”

 

Sirius wiped his nose with the back of his hand. “I’m so done with all of this.”

 

“Change of plans. Do you have any meetings?” Sirius shook his head. “Follow me.”

 

Led back into his room, sneaking in the shadows, and prompted to lie face down on their bed, Sirius wasn’t a clue closer to what Remus had in mind.

 

“Is it alright if I lift up your shirt?”

 

“Wha—uh, yeah, yes! We can’t take it off, though. Precaution in case someone comes in.”

 

“Noted.” 

 

Sirius shivered as Remus peeled it up. He nearly shot out of his skin when something warm pressed to his skin. Remus took his time gently kissing every knob of Sirius' spine, all the way to the bottom.

 

“Why’d you stop,” Sirius whined. He was rewarded with a breathy, amused laugh.

 

Remus laid his palms on Sirius’ lower back and began pressing lightly with his thumbs, moving them in circular motions.

 

“Oh, oh that feels good.”

 

“I thought a massage might help.”

 

“Ugh, I hate you, why have I been deprived of this talent for— _oh_ , yeah right there.”

 

Sirius lost ability to form coherent thoughts, hardly hearing Remus shush him for being too loud. It felt so nice, he hadn’t realized the tension he carried, never felt this at home and comfortable in his body. Sirius only knew one word: _harder._ He loved that slight pain when Remus really got to it.

 

A sudden _bam!_ startled the two as the door sprang open. Remus tumbled off the bed in his hurry to get off Sirius and hide.

 

“Don’t stop by my account! I’m so proud of you two! What a momentous occasion! I will never forget this—congratulations!”

 

“James,” Sirius growled, sitting up and fixing his shirt. He glowered at his best friend bouncing in the doorway.

 

Remus stood up from the floor with a groan. “Sorry to disappoint you James, but it was only a massage.”

 

James deflated. “But, but—I heard you. Sirius was moaning loud enough to startle the cows.”

 

“Were you—you thought—we were—and you _came in_!” Sirius’ face heated up in equal parts embarrassment and anger.

 

“I’m your number one fan. Of course I’m going to be a part of this and here to celebrate!”

 


	5. wonderfully intimately close

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in relation to last snippet

“I told you so,” Remus mumbled, pushing back a sweaty lock of Sirius' hair. “Everyone in the castle would have been scarred. The cows definitely.”

 

Sirius lazily smacked Remus. “I wasn’t that loud! And I had just said it would have been nice with the castle’s soft beds instead of this squeaky,” Sirius wiggled to make the cabin's bed squeak, “shit.”

 

“Snobby rich baby.”

 

Sirius snorted and Remus snuggled closer into him. They laid together in silence, listening to the faint buzzing of bugs and occasional tree glass clinking. 

 

“Who’s going to tell James?”

 

“Fuck you.”


	6. 5 + 1 part one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> time period: war, near the end of Sirius' first year as King

The first time Sirius asked Remus, they were spending a rare day in the meadow.

 

“Will you marry me?”

 

Remus glanced up from his book, both his eyebrows raised instead of just the usual one. Sirius hadn’t meant to blurt it out—it was the perfect day, sunny but not too hot, warm enough that the ends of Remus’ hair curled from sweat. His freckles had been getting darker, especially the ones on his nose, and the corners of his eyes had been crinkled in amusement over whatever was happening in the book. One of the red poppy flowers remained tucked behind his ear from where Sirius put it earlier and he had shed his top shirt off, down to the thin undershirt.

 

Really, under the circumstances, he felt his question was one thousand percent understandable. 

 

“Did you propose?”

 

“No! Well—fine, yeah, so what if I did?”

 

Remus dropped his book onto his face but it did little to muffle his laughter. The rise and fall of his chest distracted Sirius for a moment, the way his undershirt stuck to his skin with sweat, making it nearly translucent. He hadn't meant to propose but Remus’ reaction deeply offended him.

 

“Why’s that funny?” He demanded.

 

Lifting the book up and setting it down on the grass, Remus rolled onto his stomach to face Sirius. He bit his quivering lip, an act Sirius knew to suppress further giggles. His beau reached and tugged a strand of hair that had fallen out of Sirius’ braid.

 

“We’re in the middle of war, our relationship is so secret your mother thinks we detest each other, a King can’t really hide a secret husband.” Remus twirled the strand of hair around his finger. “I don’t know.”

 

Sirius huffed. “I can do whatever I want, say whatever I want.”

 

“You didn’t even _mean_ to ask for my hand.”

 

Sirius attempted to sit up, he wanted to cross his arms in petulance or do something equally as childish. Beneath the silliness, the muscles of his heart ached in a way he couldn’t quite understand. He forgot Remus had the strand of hair, however, and as soon as he moved, it was yanked painfully.

 

“Ow!”

 

“Give me a second, you big baby.”

 

The second his hair was free, he sat up and turned his head away with a certain haughtiness. He could physically feel Remus’ eye roll.

 

“Well what if I did,” he said. “Mean to ask it, that is.”

 

“I’d say you’re awfully terrible at being romantic.”

 

With his head still turned away, Sirius sniffed and asked, “And then what?”

 

“No.”

 

He listened to the rustling of clothes and then Remus’ face was in his vision, his thin body sitting up next to him. The sunlight caught his pale green eyes perfectly and they scanned over his face, a little more serious than Sirius was comfortable with.

 

“No,” he said again and then smiled. He lunged, pushing Sirius onto his back, his head thunking painfully against the ground, and Sirius tried his best not to laugh, he really did, but Remus peppered his face in ticklish kisses.

 

“No, no, no,” he said between each one.

 

After several minutes of wrestling, an elbow or two in the ribs, a bottom lip sucked sweetly, and a close call with almost squishing a bee, Remus laid atop Sirius, panting. Sirius himself was trying to catch his breath, lazily running a hand through soft blond hair.

 

“I like that we’re in the meadow, though.”

 

“Hm?”

 

“That you asked, even if it wasn’t real,” Remus added, “in the meadow.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Sirius closed his eyes, a smile stretching across his face so wide it hurt.


	7. 5 + 1 part two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> time period: war & midway through Sirius' second year as King
> 
> *keeping their relationship secret is more important than ever and the most they get away with is snuck glances in the hallways and meetings. they can't even risk having notes passed between them through friends

The second time he asked, they were in a middle of a row—a big one.

 

They hadn’t said more than a handful of words to each other in two weeks. There were six months left until Sirius’ parents would no longer have any control over the Kingdom’s decisions and Sirius was barely holding himself together, dangerously close to revealing his cover as working with the other side. The second anniversary of Remus’ almost-death coming up in two days didn’t help either. 

 

The fight was meaningful and meaningless, empty words that dug under the skin. They were on the balcony of the tallest tower. The whole castle would know they’d had a fight but the wind made it impossible to hear what it was about.

 

“Can we pause this,” Remus said more than asked. “Regulus went through the trouble to give us a night together and this is not exactly how I hoped it to be.”

 

“Yes, well, I had hoped we’d have saved his favor for two more days.”

 

“I don’t want to wallow! I haven’t talked to you in a fortnight—”

 

_“I know!”_

 

“—and I wanted to have a nice day, have a cup a tea, something normal lovers get to do.”

 

Sirius paced back and forth, nearly growling under his breath. “Excuse me for wanting to be comforted by my boyfriend. How _ridiculous_ I must be.”

 

“Oh, stop it! You don’t get to hog that day all to yourself, it’s hard for of all of us. I’m the one who actually went through it.” Sirius heard Remus take a deep breath and exhale for several seconds. “I understand it’s a reminder of how hurt I was but to me, it’s a reminder that I’m a killer.”

 

Sirius stopped in his tracks. “You’re not a killer, Remus.”

 

He moved to touch, to show how ridiculous of a thought that was, but Remus took a step back.

 

“Don’t touch me right now. Don’t.”

 

The anger flared back up. “What do I have to do to convince you I don’t care you’re a werewolf, that you’re not a killer! Do I have to marry you for you to know I mean what I say?”

 

Remus’ breath hitched. “Don’t—that’s not funny.”

 

“Is that what you want? You wanted a nice day, right? I’ll ask you to marry me, then, how’s that for nice?”

 

“Don’t bother asking me,” Remus spat, “because the answer is no.”

 

He fled down the flight of stairs, his footsteps echoing like harsh laughter. Sirius wished he could say he ran after Remus right then but he spent time, too much, cursing and pacing and kicking the wall. It was only after Regulus came up and smacked the back of his head wordlessly did he get up and go. He didn’t waste time checking his room nor the one Remus was supposed to sleep in every night. No, he went straight to the stables and jumped on Grimm.

 

He nearly vomited when he passed the meadow, thinking back to the lovely day when he asked for Remus' hand. It was late into the night by the time he arrived. Remus had left the door to his old cabin open and he was under his giant bundle of quilts, even in the hot night.

 

Sirius untied his boots and climbed into the bed slowly, slipping under the covers. Holding his breath, he wrapped his arm around Remus and pulled him to his chest, curving around him. He pressed his face into Remus’ neck, daring to press a soft kiss, and then let them lie there, breathing.

 

Eventually, Sirius whispered, “I’m sorry.”

 

A long silence stretched. “I want you to know I left the door open not because I knew you’d come after me but because you hate mosquitos and now they’re all in here.”

 

“So very kind of you.”

 

Remus twisted his body until they were facing each other, front to front. He slipped a thigh between Sirius’ legs and pressed their bodies close, drifting off to sleep soon after.

 

Sirius watched over Remus as he slept that night, gently kissing his face when his body trembled from nightmares. At dawn, Sirius carefully slid out of bed and found the yellow book, skipping through until he found the page Remus had marked. He folded the top of the page over and left it on the bed. 

 

_I'm not very good at loving you. I'm not very good at many things. But if you don't mind, I'd like to keep you._

 

There was no possibility of them finding time together this new day but in the middle of the next night, Sirius awoke to a chilly breeze from someone lifting the covers. A warm body slipped in and Sirius huffed a half-laugh as Remus ungracefully wormed his way into Sirius’ arms.

 

“I’m sorry, too,” Remus whispered. “It’s still a no but keep me. Keep me.”

 


	8. 5 + 1 part three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> time period: end of war, years into Sirius being King

The third time, Sirius had no memory of.

 

He woke up and couldn’t feel a single bit of his body. Absolutely numb. He opened his eyes with great difficulty and had little time to vaguely wonder where he was when his arm lit up in a pain he barely felt.

 

“I swear if you do that again,” another burst of pain and this time Sirius recognized it as a punch from…Remus? “I’m going to fucking—I’ll fucking—”

 

Yes, that was definitely Remus. Through blurry vision he saw his love’s head hover before his and listened to a strangled sound leave Remus’ lips, a mix between a sob and violent curse. Sirius watched as Remus’ arms reached to cup his cheeks but he couldn’t feel it. The cogs of his brain were beginning to work and he opened his mouth, to say what, he wasn’t sure, and a mere croak came out. 

 

Remus left Sirius’ vision. “I’m getting you water, although you deserve fucking cold tea for this. Cold tea, do you hear me?”

 

Remus returned and helped him gulp several mouthfuls, wiped the dribble off his chin. “If you do that again,” he repeated, “I’ll fucking, fucking,”

 

“Are you ever going to finish that sentence,” Sirius asked, his voice horrendously scratchy, “you’ll fucking kill me, perhaps?”

 

Remus raised his hand in a fist but aborted the movement, freezing and then uncurling his fingers. He pushed back hair from Sirius’ face. “I’ll fucking murder the whole world and then myself.”

 

He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Sirius’ lips and Sirius wished more than anything he could feel it. 

 

—

 

Later, when the medicine wore off and Sirius regretted being able to feel his body, James sat next to him.

 

“How much of it did Remus see?”

 

James pushed his glasses up his nose and grimaced. “Well, he apparently didn’t know you had snuck out of the castle to the battle,” he nodded in agreement to Sirius’ soft _fuck,_ “and he must have heard you taunting Bella because he turned right as she stabbed you.”

 

Sirius absently rubbed the bandage over his heart.

 

James sucked in a breath through his teeth and pursed his lips. “It was really ugly after that and I don’t remember much but Lils said you proposed to Remus and then blacked out. Stopped breathing.”

 

_“Shit.”_

 

“Not one of your finest moments.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Whether you comment or not, I appreciate you so much. For more wolfstar and Marauders trash, you can find me on tumblr here [siriuslysarcasticremus](https://siriuslysarcasticremus.tumblr.com/)  
> If you have anything you want to see, tell me and I'll write a small snippet!


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